Signs of Life | Jivism.com

We have some really neat apparatus that allows us to experience pleasure from music, sex and cocaine. It also appreciates kitesurfing, spicy food and warm hugs in the same way. These bodies are remarkable! Feeling pleasure and the avoidance of pain are highly motivational for us. Shocker!

We think that life is supposed to feel good all the time and that discomfort is the enemy. This will be discussed in a separate post. So we construct bucket lists of things to edify our pleasure-seeking selves who are content to consume things. We want to eat at Michelin starred restaurants in New York, pick cherry blossoms in Japan, fish for a trophy marlin in Florida, and basically consume experiences with our senses.

A very insightful psychologist named Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote an illuminating book called Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, in which he described ‘flow experiences’. Oversimplified, flow is a state of absorption within an activity in which engagement is so high that the boundaries between the self and the environment disappear. This immersion includes loss of time, hunger, thirst and other bodily needs. Common sources of flow include gardening, knitting, jogging, playing sports, painting, playing music and cleaning. Commonality? Production, not consumption. And, more profoundly, leaping over our sensory pleasures to more soulful engagement, which offers the greatest pleasure we can experience. Yes there is some sensory stimulus, which makes things confusing (i.e. gardening wouldn’t be gardening if your hands weren’t in dirt), but the sensory experience is not what is prominently felt. Dr. Csikszentmihalyi found out ways to engage our soul.

Specifically to counteract the ‘bucket list’ phenomenon, so that we can experience the joys that transcend hedonistic, consumptive pursuits, the following list of things are intended to share signs of life or ways you know you’ve engaged your soul and are living and not just existing in your ego and societal norms. Your additions and comments are quite welcome.

You have soothed yourself by listening to another’s heartbeat through their chest
Your voice has gone hoarse from singing loudly to a song you really love
Your clothes were damaged because you fell down trying something you will certainly try again
Your hair is messy from an intense and spontaneous make out session that you initiated
You are unapologetically drenched from being outside unprotected in the rain
You have really taken the time to cook love into a meal and hoped that they tasted it
Your couch pillows got all messed up from a friendly yet necessary wrestling match
You drop your notebook computer by accident when moving quickly attend to someone who matters
You’ve been unwaveringly invincible
Your fingers became pruny because you soaked in a tub way too long consumed in deep relaxation and contentment
Your friends wanted to go to brunch and instead you invited them over to your place, and you all had a far better experience this way
Your arms got sore from shovelling someone random’s driveway
You’ve been sweaty and antsy with excited energy for something long awaited
You have carried out a practical joke on a close friend and shared a laugh that only close friends can share
You’ve offered condolences that were truly heartfelt and were clearly received by the heart of the recipient
Your stomach and your face both hurt from laughter that emanated from your soul
Your phone battery got low because you’ve googled every species you saw on your hike
You got altitude sickness and overcome it so you could be high up among the clouds
You refer to your friends and family by the nicknames they’ve earned and not their given names
You have been lulled and fallen asleep peacefully to the sound of waves
You’ve rolled down all car windows when driving to feel the wind and be kissed by the sun
You’ve carried a child long past the point when your arms were exhausted and you knew there was absolutely no risk you’d let go
You have woken ridiculously early to be among the first stirring and chirpy creatures in the morning
You have broken out into a spontaneous snowball fight and made yourself breathless in play
You’ve yodelled your ass off into a mountain range and projected your voice where only snowcaps lay
You’ve lain under a very bright night sky and thought about how 15 billion years of universal explosions, expansion and cosmic laws and forces got you exactly to this moment
You have marvelled at your own living cells under a microscope
Every one of your plants has a name, and you speak it softly to them when providing your care
You know the difference between a hug and an embrace and you know when the time is right for each
You’ve pillow talked for hours about absolutely nothing just because you didn’t want a moment to end
You have danced like nobody was watching and became one with the music
You have meticulously planted seeds and were inexplicably moved and humbled when the first sprouts emerged from the soil
Your furry companion and you fell asleep together cuddling in warmth and affection, and awoke at exactly the same time
You have baked something that smelled so intoxicating it drew everyone in the house to the same place at the same time
Your muscles have been wonderfully sore from the type of physical exertion that made you feel alive
You’ve needed to really scrub your feet after walking around barefoot in places you usually wouldn’t
You’ve needed to warm up after spending far too long outside enjoying yourself on a very cold night
People you cherish know exactly how you feel about them through your actions
You’ve cleaned up some pretty crazy things from some loving scuffles
You’ve made a baby laugh aloud
Your arm has fallen asleep from spooning someone you refused to disturb by moving it
You have a story for every stain and tear on your favourite shirt
When travelling, you’ve made someone smile trying out some words in their language
Somebody somewhere has had their life completely changed by you
You’ve cried while writing something as the words brought the feelings to life
Someone has vomited on you and you continued caring for them nonetheless
You have soared through the sky and felt as free as a bird
Something has made you smile so big it felt like every one of your teeth was showing
You have taught someone to move their bodies to music so they can enjoy a lifetime of dance
You’ve nursed someone back to health from illness
You’ve almost gone airborne in a wild wind storm
Somebody shushed you when you got overly animated telling a story
You’ve still got big dreams for your future
You’ve had a conversation that went into the wee hours without even realizing
You’ve felt the pangs of hunger
You’ve gotten lost somewhere serendipitously because you didn’t over-plan it
Unprovoked, a child thanked you for something you did that moved them
You’ve made mistakes, but you’ve learned from them
You’ve playfully chased a creature that was asking for it
You have written or shared poetry that touched your heart for someone to enjoy
You’ve searched for yourself everywhere and eventually found yourself when you stopped looking
You’ve considered the statistical impossibility of being right here, right now
You’ve had to clean sand out of several of your body crevices after a memorable day at the beach
For a moment you’ve eliminated all other distractions and focused solely on your breathing and life energy
In a moment, you’ve thought about the rules and decided that they didn’t apply to you
You’ve received artwork from a child and instantly felt it deeper than anything you’ve seen in a museum
You’ve experienced great loss and have felt deep pain
You’ve completed things on your to-do list because you put in the discipline and worked hard for it
You’ve done something to absolute and utter exhaustion
You’ve fought hard for something that really mattered to you, even when you thought you’d lose
For a reason you can’t explain, you have taken the time to relieve a total stranger from pain and suffering
You can name a whole bunch of spices just by scent
You “know” all the lyrics to a song in a language you don’t speak
When approaching a big life moment you have completely drenched a shirt in your sweat
You have had moments so engaging that you had no awareness of your self
You have fondled every type of produce at a farmer’s market because each demanded to be touched
You’ve stared into the Milky Way and wondered about what’s staring back
You know exactly why you have your wrinkles
You’ve harvested a crop using only your body
You have competed in something you really wanted to win
You have competed in something totally silly
You know what is meant by ‘butterflies in your stomach’
You believe in something you are willing to die for
You’ve seen something so amazing you put down your camera to ensure your naked eye took it all in
You have nurtured something’s beauty to emerge
You can name a whole bunch of flowers blindfolded
You made a child’s birthday party more memorable by engaging all the kiddos in play
You’ve sobbed loudly in real life like most people do in theatres
You’ve made someone feel truly welcome and deeply understand the term hospitality
You have a “chosen family” that you cherish and honour
You have shown tenderness to something vulnerable
You’ve manoeuvred it such that a goodbye peck turned into a deep passionate kiss
You have given something freedom
Despite arriving at your destination, you waited until the song ended before you exited the car
You have used self talk to build strength when feeling weak
Someone has called you “coach” or thought of you as a mentor or guide
You have shown mercy to give something another chance
You were fully and completely present in a moment and saw something more deeply than you’ve ever seen it before
When given an opportunity, you’ve let your artistic creativity emerge irrespective of your talent
You’ve given a 30-second hug
You’ve listened with full attention to someone who needed to be heard
Despite your contrary instinct, you’ve let someone struggle intentionally for the purpose of growth
You’ve felt inexplicably compelled to do something as though forced by an invisible magnet
You’ve gazed at another species and were completely stunned by its majesty
You’ve spoiled someone for no reason at all simply because you love them
You’ve felt your batteries recharge from empty from the positive energy around you
You’ve lain on your back and played the game that identifies things in the clouds
You profoundly appreciate baby talk
You have soothed an upset creature to calmness without words
You have rolled down a grassy hill with reckless abandon
You’ve started or joined an impromptu dance party in someone’s home
You’ve allowed compassion to overtake other impulses
You have missed someone deeply, even when you’ve seen them earlier the same day
You have run alongside someone learning to ride a bike and let them go solo
You have loved and lost
You have made a deep and painful sacrifice for someone who didn’t know anything about it
You have been totally moved by a song that really resonated with you
You know the difference between a trip and an adventure
You’ve tried hard at something and failed in a way that shocked you
You’ve had earth beneath all of your fingernails
You’ve experienced the infinity that exists in every moment
You’ve proven to yourself definitively that you’ve got free will
You’ve heard the wind speak to you
Your heart has skipped a beat
You’ve halted a premature hug pull-away to make that hug last
You have laughed so hard that no sound came out and tears rolled down your cheeks
You’ve orchestrated a momentous surprise to make someone feel special and loved
You’ve been absolutely mesmerized by fire under pitch black skies
You’ve felt nourished by the rays of the sun
You’ve stood so high that you felt powerful
You’ve stood so low that you felt tiny
Something has made you drop all defences and poise and just melt
You’ve pushed or carried something with all your might
You’ve played piggyback games
You’ve got a scar that you recall with pride
You’ve been entranced by creatures frolicking with each other
You’ve felt utterly and completely alone in the universe
You’ve transferred the nagging song in your head to someone else
You can list 6 or more types of love
You have climbed a tree and felt how much happier it was to have company
There was a moment when you truly thought you might perish
You have really held someone
You’ve fed a creature with your bare hands
You have felt jealous and petty
You’ve taken the scenic route just to feed your mind and senses something different
You’ve marvelled at your own footprints
You’ve felt a sadness so deep you thought it would never end
You’ve had your morals challenged, and you’ve responded meaningfully
You’ve felt someone else’s pain as deeply as they felt it
You have radiated goodness into the universe
Your palms have been calloused and rough from making someone’s environment more enjoyable for them

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