Every guru and motivational poster tells you how to be present and the importance of it, which seems pretty sound. What they fail to mention or notice is that you’re already in the present, you’re just not doing a very good job of engaging in your present. This is partially because in any present moment, there are infinite opportunities to engage, yet only one thing that can receive your focus at once. Mindfulness is the practice of intentionally selecting which segment of the present to engage and offer your focus. But this is all very aspirational and frankly academic because what usually impairs your present is the injection of things that are (a) not temporally relevant and/or (b) not real.
The spiritual community seems to embrace the notion that what’s past is gone, and lamenting or regretting events past is a super way to not live in the present. Similarly, noodling on future events today such that they create a response in the present is another way to squander the present. The past is meant to fade away with lessons and memories that carry forward, and the future is meant for living in the future if and when it occurs. Neither of these belong in the present. It’s very easy to worry about paying your bills of next month, being shy at that event in 2 weeks, or how you’ll score on that exam next month, but we mustn’t. We must live in a manner that is sustainable today such that future concerns and outcomes are predictably neutralized.
The meatier topic is really whether something is real. What I mean by “real” is something that is material in an experiential way and is happening or certain to happen imminently. By definition, this eliminates symbology, potential, plans, intentions, hopes, promises, gestures, posturing…until they are actioned. This includes all what-ifs and other ruminations where people are mentally exploring, but what happens in the mind is not real. Reality is what is happening, not what exists on paper, in minds, or in fantasy.
Have you noticed that every time you’re involved in a role, you fuss about the future of that role? Whether you’re an employee, a romantic partner, or a student, you are fussing about ‘what-if this ends’, ‘what if I perform poorly’, ‘what if someone does something wrong’. That’s future-oriented thought, which is a spiritual no-no that impairs your present, but more profoundly, it’s not real. There is nothing about any of these ruminations that warrants thinking time. They are all ego-generated fears that are seeking an audience of your mind with the purpose of feeling better, which you entertain at the expense of your present, despite the fact that you actually have no control over any of these things and therefore would be better served participating in them fully by being present and not a worry-wart.
The same thing applies in all situations. If you are hiking or surfing and fear some danger, your entire experience will be tainted by incessant rumination of a mind concoction that is not real. Risks are indeed real, but not until they are real in action so there is no merit worrying about them because that worry does not mitigate the risk (despite what your scaredy-pants ego wants you to believe). Your head is not where life is lived, it is lived and experienced on earth.
When you find yourself worrying, ask yourself, ‘is this part of my present, and is it real?’ Real things may seem noisy and consuming, but really ask yourself whether it is material in your life at the moment in a real way or whether it is rather coming in the form of a potential, what-if, or symbol that may some day materialize but today is just speculation or noise. When you eliminate what is not real from reality, and focus on the present without that noise, you will find yourself far better able to maintain the stillness of your internal pond.
